baby loss awareness week

Today is my aunt's 82nd birthday. I will be visiting her and taking flowers, a cream cake and a framed photograph of my aunt, myself and Baby Amos that was taken a couple of weeks ago. She has been hoping I would have a baby for the last twenty years and her only regret is that she is now too arthritic to be able to knit any clothes. Luckily, she knitted and kept a few cute little cardigans for me, stored away in a bedroom drawer just in case. These cardigans are precious to me and I can't wait until my baby is big enough to wear them.

Over fifty years ago my aunt lost a baby, her only child, a little boy born with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. There were no photos or memory boxes back then. Leaving the hospital, distraught with a grief they were unable to articulate, my aunt and uncle made the momentous decision to never try for another baby. They never wanted to experience such loss and heartbreak again.

October 9-15th is Baby Loss Awareness Week and all week I have read articles on Facebook and news sites about the terrible losses people have suffered. I have cried and cried for the parents who left hospital without their children. I realise that no matter how traumatic I found the birth of my child, I left hospital with a healthy baby and feel immensely grateful for this.

My aunt rarely talks about her loss, my uncle never spoke about it. I don't think this is merely a generational difference; there is still such stigma surrounding miscarriage and stillbirth. However, it finally feels as if we are creating space for people to speak about their experiences. The brave people who have written and spoken about their loss help us all - individually and as a society - so that people do not feel they have to suffer in silence and we have a greater understanding of the risks relating to pregnancy and birth.